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Captain James spluttered and agreed.”Jake looked at Tom and Jerry.“I’m sorry gentlemen, I suppose we should have told you there was something afoot,” he said.“Don’t worry about it Captain, we knew something was going on,” replied Tom, with Jerry in the background grinning. “Everyone in Bristol knows what went on with this ship, so when Cap’n Pook asked us to sign on we were happy to. We reckon it’ll give us a tale or two to tell. I mean, we’ve got three captains to start with.”There was general laughter.“Well when we get in to Dublin I want you chaps to do your normal jobs, tidying and getting ready to unload, but if any one comes on board you make yourselves scarce, you hear? You aren’t getting paid to get shot at, that’s what Captain Oates men are for.”“D’ye think there’ll be shooting Cap’n?”“I sincerely hope not,” replied Jake.Due to the enforced stop it was nearly midday when The Five Sisters entered Dublin flying the stars and stripes from the end of her main gaff, and a small. Goddammit! Which part of ‘I DON’T FUCKING TAKE MY FUCKING CLOTHING OFF IN FRONT OF THE MOTHERFUCKING, COCKSUCKING, SHITEATING CAMERA’ do you not understand, you skanky crack-ho bitch from HELL? Did you not even bother to read the contract that you signed, you steaming pile of PUKESHIT?”“You are going to go up there and do the scene the way it is written, or you are out of this project! Do you read me, princess?”“Go fuck yourself, Conrad. No, seriously. GO FUCK YOURSELF. Preferably with a rough-cut, unsanded two-by-four. I have a no nudity clause in EVERY contract I sign for EVERY project I do. It has been vetted in the courts, and upheld on appeal. Your lawyers knew about it. Your writers knew about it. Your director knew about it. Even you knew about it. How do I know this? Because MY lawyer was required to read it out loud to YOU in a face-to-face meeting with you when YOUR lawyer was present. After what Nesta tried to pull a few years ago, I can never be too careful.“Are you going.
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